Rahm bus

Prelude: I watch TV with closed captions.


I love Create TV! While watching a show demonstrating interlocking knitting, I got a good laugh. During the demo, they started talking about the elementary terms for shapes, particularly, how a diamond is not called a diamond but a rhombus. The closed caption read rahm bus.

What the heck is a rahm bus?

Martha Stewart Bloopers

The line about the worst thing in life being marks from your hangers is hilarious! I love it when I laugh and start crying! That one sent me over the edge.

Thought for the Day

Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and you do whatever it takes, ruin as many peoples lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose, or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose, or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way.-Derek

Future mangosteen kitchen curtains

My sister's visit is going too fast! Every turn offers more hilarity!

She is inspiring my craftiness to new heights as we have made (I made-she supervised) a removable cover for our "coffee table," an embroidered stool cover, and refinished a breakfast tray and TV tray.

While searching for some interesting fabric to mock up some diaper bags/purses, we stumble upon bolts of this fabric.

Ahh, just as the humble Artichoke is undervalued and ignored, so is the illustrious mangosteen.

PUN INTEDED

Bill sent these out! A pun is a great way to love the language and these continue to get better as you read on.

PUN INTENDED

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
   "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
   "Is it common?"
   Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
10. DejaMoo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
    The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
    "But why," they asked, as they moved off.
    "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Year's later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Don't embroider with the fabric upside down

Working on another felt book. So close to completion, yet so far. That is what I get for not stitching left to "write."
It seems that the corn posts have caused much pun.

UPDATE: Cease and Desist Unicorn

It seems that the "CORNY JOKE/UNICORN" I blogged about earlier was unattributed. To appease the Unicorn Nazi, I provide his original email and attribution :-)

Begin forwarded message:

Date: August 10, 2008 1:26:26 AM CDT

Subject: Cease and Desist

This is a Cease and Desist Notice.
As I am sure you are fully aware, plagiarism is against ethical conduct as well as illegal.
It is with great disappointment that I must issue this Cease And Desist Notification as I have become aware of the illegal use of my original copyrighted material entitled "CORNY JOKE." Please discontinue all uncredited use of said material on you blog as it is an original intellectual property of one MR. James E. Deshotels. Continuing to use this material in this unauthorized fashion may result in serious consequences. Evidence of said illegal acts is attatched. You will notice time of sent email and notice of your posting of Mr. Deshotels works. Please respond in due time.
Cordially,
Mr. James E. Deshotels

Screenshot images of his original email and my blog were included for evidence.

Not hard enough!

I didn't even try the door as I was afraid someone might think me a weakling if I could muster up the strength to pull even harder.

Lint Special

I am in the mood to shuck! My sister has arrived for a stay until the end of the month. Thank goodness her husband called at 10:30pm or else we would have stayed up all night yakking with each other!
I preparation for her arrival, and my mom's in October, and the baby in December, I have begun the laborious process of moving my onion and potatoes to a better location than the hot pantry next to the outside wall of the house. How does that equate? WELL...it gets hot in the pantry and I get bad root veggies. They needed to be moved to the large storage cabinets that were filled with small appliances, junk, and my stone bakeware. That stuff needed to go somewhere, and there were shelves in the garage next to the kitchen door. The stuff on those needed to be combined with the other garage goodies. In order for all of that to fit, I needed to move the desk (that is currently undergoing a refinish) into the house. The refinishing project began as the garage stuff was consolidated, the kitchen items moved to those shelves, and the potatoes and onions put in the cabinets. This also opened avenues for the crafty items to be put with the kitchen goods (lap loom, crayon maker, paper making kit, etc.) This all was in preparation for visitors and family expansion.
During this clean out, I would take a break but still needed that "mood for shucking" feeling to be appeased. I began going through our families' extraordinary large collection of photos. As I do, there are some that are going to need to go on the blog. Here is one now that I got around Easter time. Who knew that Easter and Lint were so closely related? Must be a dust bunny thing! OH, har de har har.

crazy card

Another prize from the collection is this card. They do indeed make cards for everything! The preposterous wording makes me laugh every time I read it.
Before we go any further-
before we continue with our relationship-
before we go deeper into this-
there's something I need to tell you.
I'm a little confused, I'm a little unsure.
I love being with you and spending time together but I can't help but think-
Is this too perfect to last?
Where will it go from here?
Please understand that it's not you-
it's me.
I want you to believe in us.
Just give me a little understanding and a little time.
Oh, the comments for this abound!

face bowl

I used to work for a university. My office was decorated with every piece of insanity and human conundrum. When I left, I kept much of the junk and just recently went through it to shuck. Here is one of the prized pieces from the collection.
This was posted above the faculty restroom sink in one of the buildings. It stayed up all semester until some staff member removed it. I wonder who could have done that? Hmmm?

Rare photo of a unicorn

Extensive research has been done! Proof exists! Witness for yourself this photo of a unicorn!


Please note the UPDATE to this CORNY JOKE. ;-)

Tater fun

While Phoebe perused the Pokemon toys, I was kept amused by the spud offerings.

Another image from the email files

I tried to find a direct link for this image. I got this in my inbox February 6, 2006.
UPDATE: This is the Tree of Life at Animal Kindom Park.

Neuschwanstein Castle

Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany
http://www.neuschwanstein.de/

crazy hair!!!

As I continue to look through my emails from the past 5 years, I am coming across many fond memories. I have the opportunity to contact those that have left or graduated and see just what they are up to.
There are many emails that I just don't want to go through the trouble of saving/moving/copying. But here is one that came through my inbox a year ago that makes me smile. This is bravery! How on earth did the colors come out so sharp? Those can't be wigs?

Going through the emails

So, I am cleaning my work computer emails. Here is the blurry but memorable picture of Harrod's from when my sister spent a semester in London, fall 2005.

Amusing Links

Truly Amusing jokes, movie spoofs, funny commercials

• Wacky Web Site of the Week Archive List of strange and bizarre websites


• Scratch & Sniff Smell the digital roses


• Spode's Abode - Cardboard Box PC OK, this is absolutely ridiculous, but facinating!


• The Offical David Hasselhoff Site of Worship This is where to get that super cool Hoff Airplane!


• World School Photographs This is amazing! Find your school photo! I just can't believe how similar we all look


• Don't spend your life cleaning What this mother does in her tub cage


• Numa Numa Dance Dragonista din tea from OZone is the music for this great online video


• Karate Master at Kontraband Karate Master breaks things. In the background are performers dressed in black creating the "effects"


• Fake or Foto? Are they photographs or computer graphics?


• How to keep an idiot busy Try to press the button


• INDUSTORIOUS CLOCK ||| MONO*CRAFTS Cool online date/clock. The numbers change based on a pencil erasing and writing


• Knowing Jack Do you know Jack, or his wife?


• I want to A page of utilities that help you do stuff you want to


• PostSecret Postcards sent in with secrets


• InHomeGames All sorts of wood games. Carrom! Sarah's favorite game! It is $45 with free shipping.


• Anagram Generator that will produce combonations of words based on initial input


• Apostrophe cartoon How to use the apostrophe cartoon with the angry flower


• Binary- it's digitalicious! Binary code translator.


• Bird the Planet Kreg Ellzey's blog


• Colorado Digitization Program Content on human culture, science, and art


• Creative Commons Nonprofit org offering flexible copyright licenses for creative works


• Default Password List Lists default passwords for wireless network


• Document Definitions - La. State Land Office Online Documents What all those acronymns state for at the State Land Office


• German Sex Ed Where Babies Come From in Germany book that is geared toward children


• Google Code: Summer of Code Program designed to introduce students to the world of open source software development


• Grocery Store Wars | Join the Organic Rebellion Organic foods take on the Death Melon.


• Louisiana Studies in Historic Preservation MEd work


• Molecular Expressions: Science, Optics and You - Secret Worlds: The Universe Within - Interactive Java Tutorial View Milk Way and move in to the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory in Tallahassee, Florida


• Playing with Time Gallery Browser


• Prankbot Send a university "no transcript" email to someone.


• Project Gutenberg Free books


• Retro Junk | Hey I remember that 80s TV, commercials, archives, etc.


• The International Hedgehog Association This cute little animal! The icons are pretty interesting, typified, but interesting. Love the hedgehog with the magnifying glass!


• The Official String Theory Web Site A bit over my head in some areas, but in others, way cool.


• What does your phone number spell? Type in your number and get the message


• World Sunlight Map What is being illuminated right now? This is a satalite image that gets updated quite frequently showing current sunlight and cloud cover.


• lettuce varieties


• Google Holiday Logos


• KINETIC ART ORGANIZATION


• Flying Spaghetti Monster


• Ambigrams, Logos, Word Art


• Yay Hooray! Absolutely, positively the best site on the internet!


• Directory of open access journals Free, full text, quality controlled scientific and scholarly journals.


• English/Chinese Picture Dictionary


• How to Make a Book


• kelli connell


• National Sex Offender Registry


• vocabulary root/pre- & suf-fixes


• Shawna Atkins


• Autumn's blog


• Artichoke Anathema


• File identifier


• Chernobyl oral history


• Overcaffeinated


• The Onion


• BBC NEWS | In Pictures | In pictures: Kitsch Christmas gifts


• Make Your Own Evil Plan

Truly Amusing

jokes, movie spoofs, funny commercials

• Wacky Web Site of the Week Archive List of strange and bizarre websites


• Scratch & Sniff Smell the digital roses


• Spode's Abode - Cardboard Box PC OK, this is absolutely ridiculous, but facinating!


• The Offical David Hasselhoff Site of Worship This is where to get that super cool Hoff Airplane!


• World School Photographs This is amazing! Find your school photo! I just can't believe how similar we all look


• Don't spend your life cleaning What this mother does in her tub cage


• Numa Numa Dance Dragonista din tea from OZone is the music for this great online video


• Karate Master at Kontraband Karate Master breaks things. In the background are performers dressed in black creating the "effects"


• Fake or Foto? Are they photographs or computer graphics?


• How to keep an idiot busy Try to press the button


• INDUSTORIOUS CLOCK ||| MONO*CRAFTS Cool online date/clock. The numbers change based on a pencil erasing and writing


• Knowing Jack Do you know Jack, or his wife?


• I want to A page of utilities that help you do stuff you want to


• PostSecret Postcards sent in with secrets


• InHomeGames All sorts of wood games. Carrom! Sarah's favorite game! It is $45 with free shipping.


• Anagram Generator that will produce combonations of words based on initial input


• Apostrophe cartoon How to use the apostrophe cartoon with the angry flower


• Binary- it's digitalicious! Binary code translator.


• Bird the Planet Kreg Ellzey's blog


• Colorado Digitization Program Content on human culture, science, and art


• Creative Commons Nonprofit org offering flexible copyright licenses for creative works


• Default Password List Lists default passwords for wireless network


• Document Definitions - La. State Land Office Online Documents What all those acronymns state for at the State Land Office


• German Sex Ed Where Babies Come From in Germany book that is geared toward children


• Google Code: Summer of Code Program designed to introduce students to the world of open source software development


• Grocery Store Wars | Join the Organic Rebellion Organic foods take on the Death Melon.


• Louisiana Studies in Historic Preservation MEd work


• Molecular Expressions: Science, Optics and You - Secret Worlds: The Universe Within - Interactive Java Tutorial View Milk Way and move in to the National High Magnetic Field Laboratory in Tallahassee, Florida


• Playing with Time Gallery Browser


• Prankbot Send a university "no transcript" email to someone.


• Project Gutenberg Free books


• Retro Junk | Hey I remember that 80s TV, commercials, archives, etc.


• The International Hedgehog Association This cute little animal! The icons are pretty interesting, typified, but interesting. Love the hedgehog with the magnifying glass!


• The Official String Theory Web Site A bit over my head in some areas, but in others, way cool.


• What does your phone number spell? Type in your number and get the message


• World Sunlight Map What is being illuminated right now? This is a satalite image that gets updated quite frequently showing current sunlight and cloud cover.


• lettuce varieties


• Google Holiday Logos


• KINETIC ART ORGANIZATION


• Flying Spaghetti Monster


• Ambigrams, Logos, Word Art


• Yay Hooray! Absolutely, positively the best site on the internet!


• Directory of open access journals Free, full text, quality controlled scientific and scholarly journals.


• English/Chinese Picture Dictionary


• How to Make a Book


• kelli connell


• National Sex Offender Registry


• vocabulary root/pre- & suf-fixes


• Shawna Atkins


• Autumn's blog


• Artichoke Anathema


• File identifier


• Chernobyl oral history


• Overcaffeinated


• The Onion


• BBC NEWS | In Pictures | In pictures: Kitsch Christmas gifts


• Make Your Own Evil Plan